Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My vagina just recognized that song.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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