3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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