What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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