We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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