I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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