I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
