we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize