dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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