help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize