she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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