Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
