Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
