I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
