we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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