I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
