She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
