I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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