I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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