Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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