My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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