if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
