One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
