he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
