After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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