You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
