you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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