Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
