we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
