Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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