Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
