I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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