Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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