So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
