What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize