i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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