just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
