Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
how drunk are you?
Several
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
