she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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