Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
