What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
