If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
