First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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