idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
