btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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