I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
