Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
