so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
