There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
