I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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