So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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