I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am full of burrito and curiosity
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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