I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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