end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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