The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
