Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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