wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
