I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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