our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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