did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
