You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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