Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
