Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
