yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
