Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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