I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Panties = found
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