She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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