He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize